Canteen. Laid table with appetizer. The action takes place on the estate of the leader of the local nobility. Nikolai Ivanovich Balagolaev invited one of the neighbors, a judge, and a former leader in the morning to resolve the dispute between Kaurova, the 45-year-old widow of the second lieutenant, and her brother, landowner Ferapont Bespandin, a retired college registrar. The debate has been going on for three years. For both Kaurova and Bespandin, their aunt left her estate by testament, and they, as the leader says: “Well, they can’t share, even though you crack” ...

Both are terribly stubborn and mercilessly bargained; in obstinacy, the sister is a type of Gogol's Box from the Dead Souls, only more aggressive and arrogant. Gogol himself attended a comedy reading; according to contemporaries, he said about Kaurov: "The woman is good!"

“The matter reached the court; petitions were filed with the highest authorities: how long is it up to trouble here? - says the leader. - So I finally decided to stop the root of evil, so to speak, with a firm hand, stop, finally, to reason ... I today made an appointment with them, but for the last time; and there I’ll take other measures ... Let the court take them apart. ”

At first, the widow pretends to be an obedient sheep: “I agree on everything. I am a humble man ... I will not rebuke, Nikolai Ivanovich, where am I! I am a defenseless widow: I hope for you alone ... But Ferapont Ilyich (her brother) wants to lime me ... Well! God bless him! If only children of minors did not destroy. What am I! ”

Then the swara begins.

“Now, do you see what the main difficulty is: Mr. Bespandin and their sister do not want to live in the same house; therefore, the estate should be divided. And there is no way to divide it! - the leader explains during disputes. ”

Finally, Bespandin is ready to give up the house, but hopes for a reward.

Kaurova. Nikolay Ivanovich! This is a trick. This is a trick on his part, Nikolai Ivanovich! Through this he hopes to get the best land, hemp, and more. What is his house for? He has his own. Aunt’s house is much worse ...

Bespandin. If he is so bad ...

Kaurova. But hemp I will not give in. Have mercy! I am a widow, I have children ... What do I do without hemp, judge for yourself.

Bespandin. If he is bad ...

Kaurova. Your will ...

Bespandin. If he is so bad, give him to me, and let them reward you.

Kaurova. Yes! I know your rewards! .. some worthless decimal, a stone on a stone, or, even worse, some kind of swamp, where there is one reed that even peasant cows do not eat!

Balagalaev. There is no such swamp on your estate at all ...

Kaurova. Well, not a swamp, so something else like that. No, reward ... humbly thank you: I know what kind of rewards!

Finally, one of those present does not stand up, the landowner Alupkin, who only recently settled in these places.

- What are all women in the county like that?

“There are worse,” replies the neighbor, the poor landowner Mirvolin.

Kaurova Alupkina will later report back, seizing the right moment: “Why are you this, father, are you all rushing up? Or do you have such a custom in Tambov? "Where did he suddenly come from, neither the sign nor the knowledge, and what kind of man the Lord knows him, but look how cocky it is!"

And later it’s not even that: “You are crazy! He is crazy. ”

At some point, Bespandin will also take up arms against him:

Your Majesty! Let me know with what right ...

Alupkin. Do you stand up for your sister?

Bespandin. Not at all for my sister: to me my sister is this - pah! .. and I am for the honor of a surname.

But the leader nevertheless tried to solve the problem:

Gentlemen, gentlemen! Allow, allow ... I must again ask you to keep quiet for a while. This is what I propose. We will now jointly divide the entire country house into two sections; in one will be a house with a manor, and on the other we will add a little extra land, and let them then choose.

Bespandin. I agree.

Kaurova. I don’t agree.

Balagalaev. Why don't you agree?

Kaurova. And who will be the first to choose?

Balagalaev. We will throw lots.

Kaurova. God save and have mercy! What are you this! No way! Ali are we unholy?

Balagalaev orders the clerk to read his original draft section on a notebook. But there are endless details ... "The direction of the line from point A" ... "To point B, at the corner of the dam" ... "The owner of the first section is obligated to relocate two yards to the second section to his account; and hemplings to be used by the evicted peasants for two years ... ”

Kaurova. “I do not intend to cede either peasants or hemp,”.

For a long time these ridiculous, bazaar disputes last.

And where is the noble honor, good breeding, nobility? Alas, everything happens in any class.

After much debate, ridiculous insults, the reader is ready to repeat after the leader: “My head seems to be spinning ... Excuse me, gentlemen ... I am not able ... I don’t understand anything that you tell me, I’m not able to I can’t, I can’t! ”

“Well, we’ll drink it, Mirvolin, we will drink,” the judge of one of those present, the poor landowner, calls. - Here you have an amicable divide! "

Life and customs of the landowner environment. The situation is heavy, gloomy. The struggle for their interests is fierce. And what is the meaning of the dumb serfs?